I did not know how to begin my conversation with Mitchelle. It’s not a common thing for a man to claim that another woman has stolen his wife. It’s also not very common for the “stolen woman” to ask for a right of reply – albeit in confidence. Guys, I was walking in unchartered territory here.

This story is a sequel to ‘Right Under His Nose’ click here if you have not read it, otherwise, you will float in a major way.

“Why did you leave your son?” That was the first question that came to my mind. As a parent I could not imagine leaving my kid behind without putting up a proper fight should a situation that calls for ‘man to put asunder what God had put together’ arise.

“It’s not that I abandoned him,” she started. Her gaze firmly on my face. Her eyes are a bit teary. Her hands were both placed on the table. Her cup of tea untouched, almost five minutes since the amazing waitress called Grace of Victoria Comfort Inn brought it to our table. We were seated at ‘Tado Lounge’ on the rooftop of the hotel’s new wing.

Mitchelle is definitely one of those complicated city women. She must have gone to those private schools where they teach girls how to cross their legs, hold their necks and what to do with their hands when having difficult conversations – being a lady. No wonder she works at a bank. I have a feeling she is in sales.

I have held a sales position in my company in an acting capacity and I tell you she looks like someone I would hire to work for me if I could afford her. You know they say ‘sales is an emotional activity’ and not a rational one. Most of the times we buy things because we like whoever is selling them and not necessarily because we like what they are selling. I can’t help but imagine the number of men who have opened bank accounts they don’t need, take up loans or mortgages they can’t afford just because Mitchelle was selling.

From up here you can see almost see three-quarters of Kisumu. From where I sat I was facing Obunga – one of Kisumu’s largest informal settlement. To my left was parts of Tom Mboya estate that fade away into USAID estate and farther in the horizon I could see what’s left of the water hyacinth on the lake. This thing seems to be moving away before the multimillion equipment that was bought to deal with it even gets here – this is Kenya. A place where we lose billions of shillings and call it “only.” Also, a place where women steal men’s wives.

Mitchelle’s back was turned towards Obunga. If her estranged husband was a residential estate in Kisumu, he would be Obunga. She also turned her back against the leafy suburbs of Riat Hills where their matrimonial home is. Her glowing face that’s now focused on my direction once in a while drifting further to stare at the Tomb Mboya estate buildings beyond and farther into the direction of Milimani where her current life revolves around.

“Both my children are now with me where I live. It was difficult to leave with both of them together so I left with the one I knew he had no claims over and when the time was right I took the younger one too,” she explained.

“How did things get here?” I asked.

“You see Daniel,” she began explaining. It’s very rare that I get people referring to me with my first name. At times I even forget that I am called Daniel. Nobody calls me that even in the office, but I guess because Mitchelle and I have not crossed paths before It was very proper to be that formal.

“I was a loyal wife to my husband. I had had a life before we met but the moment we decided to get married and raise a family I went all in. I gave up a lot of things for the sake of this relationship, but Dave did not see that as good enough”, she continued.

Mitchelle says that her husband started cheating soon after the birth of their son. There are weekends he claimed he could not come home but would be seen with young college girls in town. She had even on several occasions caught him with other girls when he was pretending to be out of town.

She says Dave would always apologize and swear never to do it again. He would shower her with gifts and pay for trips to Dubai for her and the kids. His apologies would most of the time work – I mean which woman would not want to go shopping in Dubai?

Mitchelle, however, felt that she was being taken for a ride because Dave did not change his ways.

“I already had two children from different men. Where was I going to leave and go with these children?”

Mitchelle says she talked to her friends about it. They asked her to stay put, mostly because Dave was taking care of all their bills. He wasn’t physically abusive either. One of her close friends became much closer during this time, and she would confide in her for everything.

“She had a broken marriage. She had had these experiences, and I benefited a lot from the wisdom that came with her age and experience. She was also very understanding and caring. The sort of person I was free enough to cry in her arms,” she explains.

“One thing led to another and we just naturally found ourselves entangled in a romantic situation. I had kissed girls before – in my campus day. They say ‘women know their way around the bodies of women better’ and here I was sacrificing my pleasure for a guy who treated me like trash when there was someone who could really make me happy in every way I would imagine.”

I ask her if she still thought Dave and she had a future.

“The only future between us is as co-parents. I do not intend to keep our son away from him. As far as our marriage is concerned, it’s a done deal. He should blame himself for it because it’s him who drove me into another woman’s arms.’

When they have to meet, they do not do it where she lives with her kids.

Cover image courtesy of pexels.com.

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In my line of work, we are trained to be very sensitive about private meetings. I wasn’t sure if this “sensitive” stuff was about work or a personal issue. Either way, I was not going to take chances.

Dave was my boy, the kind of boy who would generously contribute to the M-Changa funeral kitty if I were to die. He would drive up with my other boys to The Ranch the evening before my burial and stay awake till morning telling stories as they sip 21- year old single malt whiskey. None of the conversations would be about me or the two distraught women I am leaving behind. Perhaps they would talk about their friend who has merged his law firm with another British firm, maybe about the other friend’s new Mercedes-AMG C 63′ Sedan teasing him about where he would drive such a low car. The other friend who is bewitched with SUVs will tell him he has just bought himself an expensive women’s car, that real men drive V8s and Range Rover Sports. He would swear to take the car back to the dealership on Monday. They will talk about the weather, wonder if they will get stuck in the morning if the skies make good their threat to open up. They will talk about Olivia’s short dress. Heck one will even have a theory that Olivia and I used to date – that would be the only reference to me in their conversation.

That is how close I and Dave were before this day. At least what I thought of it. We have never had a one on one meeting. We have shared a daram at Barcadia, sheltered under the main dais at Kisumu Showground when the skies opened up after a rugby match, we had shared a bottle of whiskey at a wake for the dad of a mutual acquaintance.

It was getting darker, I had said I would be home by 7 PM but it was now 7.15 PM and Dave had not opened up.

I was about to ask to see him another time when he looked over his shoulders on both sides before lowering his head with his eyes locked into mine. It was as if he wanted to see through my soul as he poured his heart out. They say someone’s eyes are the windows into his soul.

We were seated at a corner at the Buzz Bar at Acacia Hotel. If you ask me it’s one of the most private spaces in this town.

You know a man is about to say something extremely important when he looks over his shoulder to see if someone is watching or listening. Just that this time Dave did not have to. Behind him was nothing but the wall paneling. He still looked through – not once but over both shoulders. I guess it was reflex.

But that did not surprise me as the words that came out of his mouth next.
“Dan, Mitchell* is cheating on me.” He paused for a moment, perhaps to see how I would react to it. Maybe trying to figure out if I had heard anything about it.

I did not know how to react or what to say. You know when a fellow man comes up to you and tells you their wife is cheating, it has taken them a lot of courage. This is a conversation a man would rather have with his close woman friend. Not their boy unless they are accusing you. No, he was not thinking I had anything to do with it. At least I became sure of that when he uttered the next sentence after the ten-second pause that seemed to have lasted a century.

“With another woman.”

I did not know how to react when someone tells me their wife is cheating, leave alone cheating with another woman. I had heard tales of women in Kisumu having secret sex parties but had always dismissed it as the usual idle talk of social media. I have never been the one to take things I see or read on social media too seriously. Most importantly, I have learned to mind my own business.

Dave has a job I would describe as a ‘good job’ by all standards. He is mostly stationed out of town but he is always around on weekends. Hangs out at Barcadia and Roan once in a while. His wife has an equally good job at a bank. She is mostly in Kisumu unless for the few times she travels with the girls or when she is going on vacation with her two kids. She does not go to Barcadia or Roan – maybe Aqua Bar at Acacia for a glass of wine with the girls on a Friday.

They own their Kisumu house. Their two kids go to a private school most Kisumu parents in their income range take their kids to. Dave pays for both their fees even though the first kid is not his. The wife had him before they met, and when he decided to love her, he loved her with everything she came with.

Dave does not describe himself as a saint. He has had a few rendezvous. He has been caught a dozen times but he says it was just meaningless sex with these ‘young bloods.’ His wife had cheated too – I mean, they were a typical Kisumu family.

This, as I came to learn, was different. His wife had not just cheated but left him. Left him for another woman. Left with the son she came with. She did not care about their son or maybe she did not just want to fight over custody knowing how well connected Dave is with the city’s best lawyers.
He says they had been good for a long time. She seemed happy, nothing seemed off other than the numerous trips with the girls. In the photos from the trips, he had seen that his wife was particularly close with one woman. He knew her. She had been to their home a couple of times, both when he was home and when he was away. As far as he was concerned she was her best friend.

The woman was divorced. She had got a beautiful mansion in Milimani from her ex-husband as part of the divorce settlement. The husband had kept the children. Once in a while, she visited them in Nairobi.
Dave did not know her ex-husband. She came into their lives after she was divorced.

Dave became only curious when one of her wife’s lady friends told him his wife was having an affair. She did not divulge the details but since Dave knew this particular friend had been interested in him before he took it with a pinch of salt.

He, however, thought about it more. To confirm this he decided to buy his wife a pre-valentines gift. A brand new iPhone Xs. His wife was not so good with gadgets so she asked him to set it up for her. He went through those processes iPhone owners go through when setting up their expensive gadgets giving it to her every time it required a password or when it asked him to set the device password. She could not suspect anything, but in the process, Dave downloaded one of those phone spy apps you can buy online for $10.

Interestingly, the makers of these spy apps say on their websites that the apps are ” intended for legal uses ONLY. It is a violation of the law to install surveillance software onto a mobile phone you do not have the right to monitor.”

Fact is they know that most people are not using the apps to spy on their children but rather on their spouses and Dave here was one of them.
Over the next four days, Dave would uncover things that shook every single thing he believed about his wife. The affair had been going on for over three years under his nose. The friendship he thought was normal was a little more than that. They had had sexcapades or whatever it is women who sleep with each other had even on their very bed. They professed their love for each other on WhatsApp texts calling each other “wifey.”
Dave would not take it anymore, on the fifth day he came home and confronted his wife of ten years. She did not even deny it. She became livid, asking what right he had to spy on her phone. She threatened to sue him for breach of privacy. She was screaming hysterically. She went to the bedroom, packed a few bags banged the sitting room door and walked to her car, started the engine and drove off. She did not go far, she came back three minutes later like she had forgotten something. Dave, the kids, and their house help were still standing confused in the sitting room. She walked straight to the kids’ room without saying a word. Packed her first son’s clothes, came down the stairs and dragged him by the arm to the car and drove off. That was the last time Dave saw either of them. It was now three weeks.

I asked him “how can I help?” Like the doctor from New Amsterdam – the medical drama series.

Dave opened the sling bag that hung across his chest from the left shoulder. He took out an envelope and slid it across the table towards me. Inside it was a bundle of cash. I did not count but from how it looked must have been Ksh. 100,000. There was a flash drive too.

He knew I was a blogger and he wanted me to help him expose the woman who had stolen his wife.

I Instantly slid the envelope back to him. I told him I can’t. I saw his broad shoulders shrink. Perhaps he thought that if I exposed this woman his wife would have no choice but to come back to him. He looked like he was ready to forgive her, but he also looked like he wasn’t ready to admit that another woman would steal his wife from under his very nose.

As Kisumu people would say ‘atatembea wapi?‘ His boys would never look at him the same way. Drinking with him would be like wasting fine whiskey. What good is a man who loses his woman to another woman?
He stared at me as if to plead. I felt his pain.

” I can’t begin to imagine what is going on in your head. I am really sorry Dave, but I have a policy of only using my blogs to either build people or make people care about certain things. I cannot use that same platform for something like this.”

It was now way past 8 PM, I paid both our bills and excused myself. My women were now worried because it’s unlike me to get home late on a weekday.

That evening I drove home with my car stereo off – very unlike me. I could not help but think about Dave and his son and what they were currently going through.

Featured image courtesy of Adobe Stock.

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In less than two weeks, Pope Francis will kick off his maiden tour of the African continent when his plane lands at Jommo Kenyatta International Airport on 27^th November.

This visit is not only significant to the 12 million Kenyan Catholics but to the entire population of Kenya (The Pope will also be visiting Uganda and the Central African Republic).

The Pope’s visit comes at a time when the country is suffering economic turmoil brought about by the near collapse of the tourism industry following increased travel advisory by key tourist source markets as a result of the ever present Al-Shabaab terror threats.

Tourism

A visit by the leader of the world’s largest Christian Church coming hot on the heels of another visit by “The leader of the free world” is nothing short of a stamp of approval that “It is safe to visit Kenya.”

The high profile visits which culminate with that of British Prime Minister David Cameron early 2016 will go a long way in returning confidence among tourists. Frequent terror attacks in Nairobi, Mombasa and most recently Garissa University where 147 people lost their lives significantly drove down Kenya’s earnings from the sector which was for a long time the country’s biggest foreign exchange earner.

It is my hope that the Pope will use this visit to remind the world that terror is a problem in Africa just like it is in the Western world where hundreds of lives have also been lost.

France, one of the world’s top tourist destinations has been a victim not once, but several times with the last being this weekend where 128 people were killed in six different locations in Paris.

Throughout his visits outside Vatican, his message has always been consistent – mankind’s duty to help the poor and less privileged. This is a message he needs to remind the West of, that it does more harm issuing travel restrictions to victims of terror like Kenya while not doing the same when Western Nations face equal or even worse terror threats. 

Unity

This visit comes at a time when religious tensions between Christians and Muslims are at an all-time high following increase in terrorism activities. Unlike his predecessors, the Pope is known for pushing a conciliatory agenda and visiting a region with a significant population of Muslims should provide him with an opportunity to reach out to Muslims and set the stone rolling for a process of inter-religious unity in the fight against extremism.

This approach will go a long way in defeating the Al-Shabaab propaganda that has been aimed at creating tension between Christian and Muslims. This I hope will be a key message during his public mass to be held at The University of Nairobi.

Religious unity though is the least of Kenya’s problems, this country is now far more divided along ethnic lines than it were in 2007 when hundreds died as a result of post-election violence. Today “leaders” have perfected the art of spreading hate messages at public gatherings – even doing so in the name of God.

Social media has been used to divide this country along two major ethnic/political blocks. The prosecutions going on at the ICC and the arrest and prosecution of hate-mongers locally has done little to deter people from engaging in spreading hate messages.

Across our borders, ethnic cleansing is rife in Burundi even as the world turns a blind eye the same way it did two decades ago. It is my hope that “the people’s Pope” will use this visit to call on world leaders to stop the violence before it grows out of proportion.

Tolerance

The biggest problem facing the world today is tolerance to divergent opinion which has given rise to religious extremism, ethnicity and human right abuses.

Even though the Catholic Church does not accept homosexuality in its doctrines, Pope Francis has widely been seen to be accommodative to the LGBT community compared to his predecessors – this has even ruffled some feathers in the Church.

“If someone is gay and searches for the Lord and has good will, who am I to judge?” – Pope Francis.

While we do not expect him to push for the legalization of homosexuality, Pope Francis will almost definitely encourage African governments to deal with homosexuals in more a humane manner. The Pope is on the record acknowledging that criminalizing homosexuality is extreme.

Disappointment 

I am however disappointed that the Pope will not be visiting West African countries that have fought and defeated Ebola. This was a good time to show solidarity with that part of the continent and appreciate the men and women who volunteered – risking their own lives to save others.

Africa needed him to show compassion with the victims we lost to Ebola, their families and those who got infected but fought and defeated the deadly disease. I hope it’s not too late to change his schedule.

Follow me on Twitter@IamOminde

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