You have finally convinced her to visit you at home. It has been a struggle, but your vibe did not let you down. Your ancestors are giving each other high-fives in the underworld. You can’t cook for sh*t, so, you decide to buy ready-food from the supermarket. When you see her cab about to get to your place (she shared her trip with you on WhatsApp), you decide to warm the chapo in the microwave.

You are not used to this warming chapo biashara.

You hear a gentle knock on the door, a knock so gentle that can only be from a well-mannered girl. Your boys Kevo and Brayo knock like someone will die if you don’t open the door immediately.

No, it’s not one of those.

It’s a gentle knock. Three firm taps on the shutter. You run to the bedroom and spray your cologne around your neck (then wave your hands in the air like you are getting an epileptic attack) – you want her to get an impression with the hug.

Thirty – eight seconds passed between the tap and you opening the door. She is patient. A lady. Her parents raised her well.

You are greeted by her lovely smile. You notice for the first time that she has a tiny beautiful dimple. You return the smile. She opens her arms for a tight, warm hug before you close the door behind her.

“Welcome to my humble abode,” you say.

She smiles. Gives an approving node as she moves her eyes around the living room.

“Humble indeed,” she says turning to face you. She, however, thinks your 69 – inch gaming TV is a bit over the top, but she won’t say it now.

“You actually doing a lot better than most of your peers,” she adds. She also knows you don’t drive a Subaru (I don’t know the relevance either).

You feel like you are already winning. You are playing the good boy, though, we all know you are not one. You are ratchet, but ratchets don’t get this type of girl.

Today, you just want to make an impression. No fast moves. You want to show her that you can be patient. You are however wearing your best boxers. Choosing it from fourteen other contenders was a struggle, but you thought if you get a chance to get naked before her today, this will make the best impression – impressions are all today is about. No, we are not judging, after all, she is also wearing her best panties. She even waxed.

“The food will get cold, shall we?” you say pointing towards the dining table.

“Right into it,” she says with a smile again.

“Where do I wash my hands?” She asks.

You point towards the sink that’s next to the dining area as you get into the Kitchen. You bring out the bowl of beef stew, still feels hot. Some vegetables. You had laid the plates and cutlery earlier.

She takes her seat as you make the last dash to the kitchen to bring out the chapati, but boy oh boy… the microwave dried the chapatis 😂😂😂😂.